


Sorry to Bug You

by NancyBrown



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Aliens, M/M, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-08 18:24:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16434509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NancyBrown/pseuds/NancyBrown
Summary: Cardiff is under attack by an alien threat. Again.





	Sorry to Bug You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [citrinesunset](https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrinesunset/gifts).



"Zombie mind control?" Gwen said, flabbergasted.

"It's not unprecedented even here on Earth," Toshiko said, and Jack watched as the collective grimace spread over the faces of the rest of the team behind her. "For example, there's a tropical fungus that infects ants and takes control of them. Meanwhile, some species of parasitic wasp will …"

"Okay, Tosh," Jack said, stopping her before the green hue on Ianto's face turned into a mess on the floor. Should he launch into his own story of parasitic alien bugs that once took over three star systems by crawling into the ears of their hosts, taking over their civilization to cater instead to the parasites' needs? He glanced over to Ianto again, and decided the green was cute, but not cute enough to justify the sick later. "Are we dealing with a fungus, a virus, or a parasite?"

Owen opened his datapad and sent the projection to the screen for the rest of them to see. "Now there's something. It's technically a virus, but as far as I can tell, it shares enough properties with a parasite that I'm willing to go either way. The parasites spread by fluid contact. Biting, of course, as we saw in the remains of Mr. Turner, but it's spread just as easily with kissing and sex." He'd added clip art of two people fucking.

Cardiff's clubs were full tonight. The holiday had brought out the locals and brought in the college kids and tourists. All of them were wandering the streets or packing the pubs looking for a snog or a shag, and coming away from the encounters with a hunger for human flesh to propagate the parasites.

The three star systems had died out on their own. The hosts had stagnated, their insectoid masters encouraging generation after generation to neglect their own young, while the parasites evolved to rely solely on their species for survival. When the hosts died out, so did the rest. Jack had a grim vision of Earth's future. "How do we stop it? Antivirals? Antibiotics? Condoms?"

"All excellent ideas," Owen said, "but I've got some of the buggers in a petri dish. We'll see what kills them, and if possible, blanket the city."

Gwen said, "Are we sure it's contained here? I can ask Andy to quarantine the city again."

"Do it," Jack said. "If it came through the Rift, it started here. It can end here, too. The rest of us will go out and see about containing the infected before they spread it too far."

They adjourned, Ianto lingering to clean up. Jack waited until the rest had filed out. "Have you come up with a name for our new little friends?"

"Not yet. 'Fug Bugs' has a nice ring to it but I'm not there yet."

"You can think of something along the way."

"What have you seen?"

"Hm?"

"When Tosh went into the zombie insects list, you got that look. You've seen this before."

"Not this. Something like it."

"Did things end well?" Ianto asked, with an uncharacteristic hopefulness Jack found rather charming. All he needed was one look at Jack's face for it to deflate. "Ah."

"We'll fix it. We always do. That's our job."

"Our job could use better perks. I'm not looking forward to spending the evening checking partygoers for signs of space rabies."

"Nah, space rabies is completely different." Jack grinned until Ianto managed a worried smile in return. Right. Bugs now, save the day, be heroic, and when they were done, a little quiet time alone together to unwind. Jack was already looking forward to the unwinding, and if possible, the undressing. "Ready?"

"Lead the way, Captain."


End file.
